Well, ironically - me being a Christian, it seems that my new year has started out on "Chinese New Year"... making 2008 one of the longest years I ever lived..
You know, everybody has a threshold. A limit which people can push, and beyond that... they just die - or run away for that matter.
Since I can't run away from SAF, my heart to serve the army has finally given up.
A thankless job is bad enough, but a thankless job where people berate you on a daily basis, spread false rumors about your department and look at your men with scorn. There's a limit.
Men's health wrote an article this week about "burnout". - exactly how my department is working now.
Anyway, as usual (but a little late), I have to make a list of resolutions that I plan to complete by the end of 2009.
sigh... sometimes life gives you pain, but if pain doesn't kill you - it can only make you stronger..
at least that's my idea I take with me to the gym everytime I step inside the arena.
TEN RESOLUTIONS. ONE OUTCOME : SUCCESS.
1) Save up for a true synthesizer/arranger, along with a sequencer.
Difficulty Rating : 8/10
The total cost for an arranger, a sequencer and of course the MIDI dongle that allows communication with PC would amount up to about $4000++ at least. This is the second step in my ultimate goal of cutting an album.
I'll have to save up at least 50% of my money every month, along with finding a freelance job outside to finance the requirement. The first step is to get the synth and the dongle at least.
Time Given - 1 year
2) Refresh my Grade 8 practical.
Difficulty Rating : 4/10
Its been almost 6 years since the time I finished my Grade 8. I think its about time to refresh it.
I'll have to find 3 grade 8 songs that sound nice (not easy!), and commit to finishing it in about 6 months.
Time Given - 6 months
3) Obtain my Car License.
Difficulty Rating : 3/10
I think I've procrastinated too long already, putting away the practical lessons due to monetary and time constraints. Its time to finish what I started long time ago.
I'll have to finance about $120 a month/4 lessons. Then I'll finish it in 3 months.
Time Given - 3 months
4) Obtain my Coporal First Class rank
Difficulty Rating : [0-10]/10
The difficulty rating being so high varies on the amount of commitment I want to allocate to my work. Now being 10/10 because of the utter lack of motivation and love for my work.
I need to find something to love in my work. For my ownself. The CFC rating is a forgone tribute for the ICs in my department. And of course, pass my frigging SBJ. (surprised?)
Time Given - 5 months
5) Decide if I want to continue studying or work, - and act on it.
Difficulty Rating : 7/10
Now that my portfolio is destroyed, I don't really have much to show any university... I don't even have much to show to any company that hires me. But like it or not, cruel life still goes on and I have to make one of the most important decisions in my life - to continue studying or start working.
If I choose to work, I need to find a company who will accept a video producer who will work freelance initially, then full time.
If I choose to go to university, I need to make a convincing report of my achievements, and I need to apply to many, many universities.
Time Given : 2 MONTHS
6) Take Alvin on a really long relaxing vacation.
Difficulty Rating : 5/10
I promised to go on a holiday with him last year, and I'm yet to fulfill that promise. This time I'll make it up twice. No shopping, no stress, no work - just pure relaxation; watching the rippling waves, setting sun and cool sea breeze; finding tasty food and just contemplating.
I'll need to wait for at last 3 months starting from February, when my dear will finally have finish his BMT, get inducted into his new unit and finally be able to clear his leave(s) or off(s).
It'll cost about $1000
7) Run at least 3 10km and above runs this year.
Difficulty Rating : 6/10
The difficulty is kinda high, because I plan to be able to run Army and Standard Chartered 21km at the end of this year. I can't really imagine how on earth am I going to do it, but I still wanna try. Thus I think I'll become much leaner by the end of this year as I'm concentrating on building endurance and definition this year.
I'll need to do my 1o km runs at least 5 times a month, on top of the standard weekly army runs. Quite tough, considering my abnormal schedule.
It'll cost about $70+
8) Get a clear answer from God - read: NOT HUMANS. About His stance on Homosexuality.
Difficulty Rating : [0-99]/10
It really depends if he wants to talk about it. If he wants to hold his silence, I'll never be able to find an answer too.
And no. I am not going to look to the Bible for answers. To me, the Bible is a book of chains that promise freedom. It is the LAW which describes the source of LIFE.
I'm going to ask him directly.
It can cost me my life.
9) Eliminate the last bit of scars from my face.
Difficulty Rating : 5/10
I think I'm kinda happy with the improvement on my face. Haha. Sounds stupid. But if you saw me like 5 years ago, you might think differently.
Needless to say, I need to step up on my regime. I've been slacking a bit. But alot still needs to be done.
It should cost me about $80 per month.
Time given : 8 months
10) Get my abs.
Difficulty Rating : 2/10
Stupid resolution that I keep making every year. I'm starting to wonder if it's within the genes for me NOT to get it. But considering the amout of endurance training I'm doing this year, I think if I don't get it, I'll be quite surprised, after all its just that stubborn little layer of fat aroud the waist! ARRGH.
I need to complete 6 series of cables, 12 series of cruches, 12 series of sit ups, 6 series of leg raises, 3 series of obliques resistance and 3 series of roman chairs every week.
Not much difficulty as I'm already almost doing it every week.
Time given : 5 Months
well.. This is about it. My usual 10 resolutions per year.
There are some resolutions in my mind that I wanna do, but the time span might cross over a year.
This are some of my ultimate goals within 5 years
A. Cut a professional music album with the ASH
B. Show that a hardcore gymmer CAN run 42km
C. Go to university
D. Start returning my dad and mum their investment on me
E. Find a good, stable job at a media company
F. I finally received an answer (re:8)
Route 1 : [The Green Light Option] I will put my full strength, and with God's help create one of the strongest christian community where homosexuals can be fully assured about their sexuality and that there is no condemnation
Route 2 : [The Red Light Option] I will ask God to change me. Through fire and storms, pain and agony. And if He will not, I will ask why again.
Route 3 : [No Light] There is no question now. I will still believe in God, but never again like how it was like in the past... I will still worship. But love, I think not.
zzz.. I wrote so much.
But this is one of my more important articles in a year.
=)
I leave on a happy note! I got half day off today! xD
ciAoz~!
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